Favre and Away

I like Brett Favre. As a Broncos employee for more than 10 years and prior to that a lifelong Dallas Cowboys fan that may come as a surprise. But I honestly do. I even still have a Favre jersey I won in a bet at least 12 years ago. But for crying out loud, can we PLEASE just end the seemingly never-ending saga of is-Brett-going-to-play-or-not, with the added wrinkle this time of if-so-where?

Like the swallows returning to San Juan Capistrano and Britney Spears making us think she's finally hit rock bottom, Brett announcing whether or not he was going to retire had become quite the annual ritual. A ritual that had apparently finally come to an end when he said in March that retire was exactly what he intended to do. Four short months later, and the rumors are moving at breakneck speed that he wants to un-retire, but the Packers don't want him back, so he wants them to release him only they have no intention of doing that, either.

Brett, the Packers organization and goodness knows the fans all deserve a clean resolution to this increasingly messy situation. Fortunately, I have the answer.

Danelle and I had a system we used to use when we were trying to decide where to go to dinner. We retired the system once issues like whether or not the menus could be colored on became critical factors, but up until that time it served us well.

Basically, we'd each throw out a few options and then we'd take turns ranking them all on a scale of one to 10 with one being "would rather eat dog food" and 10 being "would pick this for my last meal." Whatever place ended up with the highest combined score is where we'd go.

I know what you're thinking -- it's way too easy for one party to manipulate the numbers so that their favorite option ends up winning. Sure, Danelle and I both may have fudged a teeny bit to tip the scales the way we wanted them to fall. But for the most part we played it straight. Besides, the fudging on each side usually just ends up cancelling itself out.

So in the Favre-Packers scenario, I can see Brett presenting options like guarantee me the starting job, give me my unconditional release or trade me. The Packers would counter with choices like stay retired, come back as the backup or accept a trade.

You can already see where this would end up. If both parties played it straight -- or at least fudged to appreciably the same degree -- some sort of trade would likely end up the winner. And that's pretty much how I expect this to end up, though unfortunately I doubt the path it takes to get there will have as little acrimony as this method.

As for how to decide where he should be traded? Well, we employed rock-paper-scissors pretty regularly when dealing with dirty diapers...

I Prefer to Think of Him as the Guy Who Was Good to a Child

So apparently former Bronco Mike Anderson has been suspended from the NFL for at least a year for a repeat violation of the league's substance abuse policy. It's unfortunate for a guy who had such a great story -- plays drums in his high school marching band, doesn't start playing football until after he joins the Marines, sets school records at the University of Utah, gets drafted in the sixth round of the 2000 draft by the Broncos, then goes on to win Offensive Rookie of the Year.

The guy was a tremendous team player while he was in Denver, willing to do whatever was asked of him on the field. Sadly, he was suspended for four games in 2003 for substance abuse issues and now he seems to have succumbed to drug problems again. He was already without a team since the Ravens released him in February, and at the age of 34 his NFL career is likely over.

I remember escorting a VIP group of corporate sponsors at training camp in 2001. There was one kid in the group who was very excited to get player autographs on a football he'd brought, and got several as the players headed to the locker room after practice was over.

I then took the group to eat in the lunch room where the players also ate. The rule in the lunch room was no autographs, which I explained to the kid and his dad. Lunch was supposed to be a time for the players to relax.

We sat right next to the tray return, and as we were eating Mike Anderson walked by. After he'd returned his tray he noticed the kid with his football, and asked with a smile if the kid would like an autograph.

Before the kid could respond I hastily thanked Mike, told him we appreciated the offer but that we knew the rules in the lunch room. Some folks in Football Operations were very touchy about that stuff, and I didn't want there to be any misunderstanding about how it all had come down and the kid or me getting into any trouble.

But Mike insisted. Even reached into his bag and pulled out his own Sharpie to sign the ball with.

The kid was smiling from ear to ear as he handed Mike his ball, which Mike signed and handed back to him. As the kid looked at Mike's autograph, though, his smile faded. He looked up at Mike and asked, "Do you know where Terrell Davis is?"

This could have easily gone south from here, but Mike just laughed and said he wasn't sure -- thought maybe Terrell was getting some treatment and would be in for lunch later. He waved and went on his way and we finished up our lunch.

I think the kid's dad was mortified. I was just grateful that Mike didn't make an issue of it. I'd seen other players go bananas over lesser slights. It impressed me that he was able to succeed in maintaining his humility when so many athletes struggle to do so. Too bad that he doesn't appear to have been able to avoid another common pitfall of professional athletes.

Best wishes getting clean and staying clean and in whatever else the future holds for you, Mike. Hopefully there's at least one kid and one dad out there who appreciate the time you took to make a visit to training camp even more special.