Tuesday, July 1, 2008

The Growing Dominance of the Right

Here's my very preliminary list of things that are proving annoying/difficult to do without the assistance of my left hand, in no particular order:

1. Turning left. I drive a standard, which some people (including Danelle) hate doing with TWO good hands. It actually hasn't been that bad in general, but left-hand turns are tricky. Especially from a dead stop when I need to shift from first gear to second halfway through the turn.

2. Opening jars. I've resorted to thighmastering them for leverage.

3. Shampooing. It actually just dawned on me that I can make this a little easier by squeezing the shampoo directly onto my head. Hey, every little bit helps.

4. Pushing a shopping cart. Made that much harder today thanks to the additional cargo weight from Safeway's buy-two-get-three-free special on Diet Coke.

5. Making a tuna fish sandwich. Double the frustration -- first getting the tuna fish from the container to the bread, then spreading it.

6. Toweling off after a shower. Let's just say that every part of my body doesn't get as dry as I'd like.

7. Putting on deodorant. Left pit, no problem. Right pit, I look like I'm doing an impression of a one-armed monkey.

8. Tying anything. I wish I'd never outgrown Velcro sneakers.

9. Putting Taryn's bike helmet on her. She'd rather not wear it anyway. And how much damage can she really do to herself on a bike with training wheels? I'll save my larger rant on being hyperprotective of our children for another day, but I was 22the first time I ever wore one.

10. Playing World of Warcraft. Solo PvE stuff isn't too bad, but PvP moves too fast to try to keep up with all the keystrokes and macros one-handed. Instances are pretty much out of the question for my tank, too, since I can't multi-task well enough to keep aggro off of other party members. Apologies to you non-geeks reading this who have no idea what any of that meant.

11. Putting toothpaste on my toothbrush. The brush doesn't tip over once I have it balanced on the bathroom counter as long as I don't touch it. Of course, you sort of have to touch it to put toothpaste on it.

12. Typing. This will likely result in blog posts written in caveman soon just to save me some hassle. "Movie good. Make laugh. Go see."

I'll try to spare you all much further whininess about this wrist situation. I'm familiar with the proverb about the man who felt sorry for himself for having no shoes until he saw a man who had no feet. But for this one more time...WWWWAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

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